Friday, May 8, 2020

Day 3 Self-Course Vipassana & Water & Liquid Fasting

After last night's discourse, I saw the "light" at the end of this tunnel of this specific journey/challenge.

It was very informative, elevating, and relieving.

Mr. Goenka spoke about The Code of Discipline
The foundation of the practice is sīla — moral conduct. Sīla provides a basis for the development of samādhi — concentration of mind; and purification of the mind is achieved through paññā — the wisdom of insight.

So during the discourse, the information explained about sīla and the examples are marvelous, and very true. He also spoke about samādhi and the different kinds of samā.

I truly encourage you to look into the discourse, and get insights, maybe that will help you abstain from most of the moral conducts that are hurting others, & by definition hurting yourself first.

I shared the discourse of day 2 in yesterday's writing of day 2.

I had a great meditation session after the discourse, from 8:45pm to 9:35pm, without instructions, and I truly felt the air going in the nostrils, and out of the nostrils, concentrated on the smaller area on the upper lip, with the tingling sensations. So that was marvelous. Then I went to bed.

What I forgot to mention at the beginning, is that during the discourse, and because I am not "eating" during the day, beside craving for the " old frozen soup", and how the mind manipulated me to make some vegan hot chocolate... so I do have raw cacao powder, some hemp seeds, some oats, maple syrup, beet powder & cinnamon power,  mixed everything up with hot water and the herbal tea already prepared, and I enjoyed every bits and sips of it.

So when Mr. Goenka was speaking about the sīla I felt that I have failed.. that I promised to simply be on a water fast during this period, and I am not taking it easy, I do drink a lot, water, water with lemon, herbal tea, & water lemon cayenne with apple vinegar cider and maple syrup... but that is not helping me.... I wonder how I was able to be on a water fast in Egypt... the sun, the warmth, the beach, surrounded by people who were doing the same....

Over here, the weather have been cold, it is actually snowing today and it is May 8, 2020... something I don't believe I have seen in Montreal. And so, during these hours, like when I started writing it was 11:45 am, and everyday around this time and for the hours of the afternoon, I feel shivers and cold... so when I meditate, I always have a cover, warm socks, a hoodie, & a shawl.

So my failure is that my sīla is cheating myself, and everyone I have informed that I will be doing this challenge of water fasting for 10 days... & that I have prepared the first day the expired protein shake, the second day the "old soup" & the hot chocolate & today my mind has been hoovering around about some carrot pulp that I freeze after all my juicing in the past few months.. & if I can create  a soup with it, adding garlic and some dry spices... mmmm the same time, I have listened to my body.. whether it is the body or the mind.. it is something I got to discover.

Today, I have woke up late too, at 5:57am, hopped in the shower and got ready for meditation followed by the online group sitting at 7am. And I haven't felt like I felt the night before... all the sensations... which is fine, as we have to observe exactly what it is here and now.

and because today's weather is cold and snowy, I didn't go for a walk, so I stayed in and i tried to meditate as much as I can. Anyhow, it is only 12:14 pm now... so I still have time.

Just to mention, I have been weighting myself since day two, so yesterday I weighted 58.5 kg & today 58.1kg.

Also, what I have been enjoying, is truly getting back to writing, without the wanted or the need for anyone to read, I am simply putting it out there for whom ever feel attracted to read, and benefit my sharing.

I am planning to do the enema today for few days, so I can release all that is stuck in my intestines. clearing the path of that organ.

I have also realized, that, I am meditating when I am writing, walking, showering, making my teas or preparing my water, all I am doing is breathing and being conscious of the breath, something I have been doing already, and this journey is reminding me of the importance of conscious breathing.. and how your body reacts to a thought or an action... as lately my body was reacting, seldomly, in the past month, with one specific person, & that bothered me a lot - one of the reasons was that I felt lied to, & submissive -

I will get myself back to preparing my enema, then meditate for the rest of the afternoon... with the thought of not preparing the soup... and look forward for my discourse of this evening then get to bed & try to wake up earlier. (even though I have been waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom with all the liquids I have been drinking)

Here is the link for the Day 3 Discourse, I look forward to watching it tonight.

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